No One “Is” Anything.
Do job titles sometimes seem funny to you?
James is an accountant.
On the surface, this statement simply states his pimary paid occupation, but it connotes much more. If I told you nothing more about James, you will probably make a few assumptions about him right off the bat.
He’s analytical. Maybe even a little stiff. Maybe he wears glasses. He probably makes a good living but has a boring life.
Here’s the problem: James is not an accountant. James is a human being.
When we assign a job title or an adjective to someone, we cut out all the detail and intricacies of a human being and replace them with caricature.
By calling James an accountant, we discard the fact that James is also an artist. On the weekends, he paints gorgeous landscapes. He loves his wife, he donates to homeless shelters, he collects vintage clothes, and he loves 20’s big band music.
Google Image Search says this is what James looks like.
Generally, this is not too big a deal, but consider our next example:
Brad is an asshole.
Literal translation notwithstanding, there’s an inherent problem with statements like this. Brad may often say and do things that are characteristic of what we would think of as an “asshole”, but he is not an asshole. No one is an asshole. An “asshole” is a theoretical construct.
Maybe Brad has some issues. Maybe he’s miserable, for any combination of a number of reasons. Maybe, even, he’s beyond repair. A cold soul destined to remain a miserable jerk for forever.
But by calling him an asshole, we shut the door. We make the problem worse. We strip him of his humanity and all of the detailed things that makes Brad a human being worthy of our respect as a peer.
If we care about the people around us, then we should avoid assigning people. It’s not quite as convenient to say “Brad’s being a jerk lately,” or “Brad’s got a gruff disposition,” but it’s far more accurate and leaves some hope.
The next time you encounter someone and think “this guy is an asshole,” stop and think for a moment. Are they really simply a dark, hopelessly negative and self centered stereotype? Is there someone out there who loves them, who they’re not an asshole to? Do they have some hope of doing good in the world that you might not be aware about?
I’ve met several people whom I might have earlier in life labeled as assholes, but through circumstances, I find out that they’re only assholes sometimes, in certain situations. In other situations, those same people can be warm, caring, and helpful.
By calling them assholesm, we not only ignore that brighter side, we drive it out of them. If a lot of people start calling someone an asshole, that person might start believing it themselves.
On the professional level, there are similar consequences. Thinking of someone only in the context of their job title ignores the other skills and capacities a given employee might have.
While it may be a good thing to an industrialized company looking to boil everyone down to their specific tasks, it’s not necessarily very healthy for the individual.
You are not your job title.
This is obvious to freelancers and entrepreneurs, most of whom carry multiple business cards. But to people who work at the same job for many years in a larger business, the job title can be a very powerful, even if sometimes grossly inaccurate, statement about your skills and aptitude.
It is a good and healthy thing to focus, and to develop your skills in a specific area. Assigning yourself a title is sometimes a good idea, as a temporary measure and as a shortcut to communicating what you’re good at and what you’re passionate about. If you’ve accomplished something great and are proud of it, you may love to use that label. Doctor. Esquire. President?
But you and I both know that you’re going to be a whole lot more than just that title, and so is everyone else around you.
So as long as you don’t lose sight of that, both about yourself and those around you, you’re cool.
Most of us are, at our base, just trying to get by and find contentment. Let’s work on finding it together :-)
